City of Fallen Dreams
by xInfiniteKittyx
Summary: My version of COFA to the end. Sebastian messes with Clary's head, driving her insane bit by bit. Does Jace love her or is he going to kill her? Love is tested through death, but some are meant to last forever.
1. Chapter 1

_Quick Disclaimer: I do not own mortal instruments or anything you recognise._

 **Part I - Demons**

 **Frozen in fear,**

 **a dark figure ahead.**

 **No one could hear,**

 **her scream as she bled.**

 **She felt the blood,**

 **dripping down her face.**

 **Tears in the mud,**

 **slowly melting away.**

 **We are the demons.**

 **People killed her.**

 **We have no freedom,**

 **from fear and anger.**

 **Deal with a Demon, Everlasting Nightmare**

 **(Poemhunter)**

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

All I could hear was my harsh breathing as I ran. Flashes of buildings and streets went by. I didn't know where I was and at this point I no longer cared. Feint shouts from mom and Luke drifted by in the wind, I couldn't stop. He was everywhere, Valentine. Blood dripping down his chest, a dark smirk ghosted on his face. And he wasn't alone.

Jace was there, but he looked like Jonathan's twin. The only variance was the hair. Jace's was good but red had been splattered through it and Jonathan's was a ghost white. I had lost my golden Angel and every step I ran from him, my heart broke a little more.

The pavement felt hard as my feet contacted with it. I didn't look where I ran, I didn't care. Until my foot slipped and I tumbled. Crashing down onto the pavement went my body and my hopes at escaping. The thundering footsteps behind me slowed down and laughter rang out in the dead silence. I couldn't let this happen! I wasn't going to die at his hands!

I scrambled and pulled myself up and darted into the nearest alley. Taking the sharp left and then the right, I didn't let myself look behind. I didn't want to give up my hope that I had lost them.

Music sounded in my ears and I couldn't even register that Simon's band's van was in front of me. I dashed behind the van and sunk to my knees against a brick wall. The heavens opened up and immediately I was soaked. But I didn't care, I couldn't. I was thankful that it hid my tears...

* * *

 ** _A Few Days Earlier..._**

I was lounging on the couch in the living room at Luke's. I was anxious to hear from Jace, as he was busy with Simon. He had volunteered to protect Simon which had seemed completely out of character for Jace, but at this point I didn't know what was in Jace's character. We had talked briefly about him avoiding me so he tried not to instead busying himself with things that I want him to do.

I fiddled mindlessly with the Morgenstern ring that hung around me neck as I thought about him. He acted different and while I will always love him, I was starting to hate his change in character. Why was he avoiding me? Did he not love me anymore? I shook my head. I couldn't let myself doubt Jace. He would've broken up with me if he didn't love me, right?

The ring brought my attention back into the room. I distinctly remember the first time mom saw me wearing it. She yelled at me to take it off and grounded me for a week. Me, a seventeen year old. Like seriously. And all because I was wearing a Morgenstern ring. I understood her though, bad memories and bad people. And with her wedding coming up, she didn't want to be reminded of her last relationship.

Whenever mom was around, I left the chain and ring in my bedside drawer but when she wants I couldn't help but clasp it around my neck. I didn't know why but I felt-incomplete without it. I glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that it was only noon but I felt extremely tired. I had had a nightmare the previous night, not that I could remember it. But I woke up breathing heavily, scared of not remembering why I was so scared.

I felt my eyes grow heavy and allowed myself to fall deeply. I had no where to be for a few hours. A nap would probably help.

* * *

 **Third person POV**

The golden shadowhunter was spread out on his bed in the institute, waiting patiently for his girlfriend. The red-haired in question knocked something on his door and pushed it slightly. The golden guy gestured for her to come inside and close the door. Once she did what he silently asked, she made her way over to him. He brushed some stray strands out of her face before leaning in to kiss her.

Just as their lips almost touched, the shadowhunter smirked and began laughing. The door cracked open and a man with white hair stood in the door way. He held a silver dagger which the golden shadowhunter accepted. The girlfriend was confused but couldn't get away with her boyfriend's hands tightening on her waist. She was terrified as the dagger came closer to her heart.

"I'm so sorry it had to be this way. If only you weren't you. Goodbye Miss Morgenstern". The golden haired spoke before driving the dagger home. The red haired looked into his eyes and the cold, unforgiving murderous glance was the last thing she saw. "Why?" She whispered as her body and mind shut down completely.

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

I woke with a scream but almost immediately forgetting why. I heaved myself back onto the couch as I must've fallen off during my nap. I tried to slow my breathing as I fought to remember what my dream was about but the ghost strands had already disappeared.

I wiped the stray tears away, not understanding why I was crying. Suddenly a buzzing sound filled the silence. Freaking out, I imitated a meerkat, looking everywhere, bobbing up and down. Once I figured out what the buzzing was, I started to laugh. "Calm down, Clary. It's just your phone."

I picked u my phone and quickly scanned the notification. It was a text from Isabelle, wondering where Jace was and could I meet her at the Church. I quickly typed a generic reply, something along the lines of, why would I know? And give me half an hour. I walked to the fridge and grabbed an apple before walking over to the window. I bit into my apple as I watched the calm and peaceful nature swaying in the wind.

"I'm sorry it had to be this way...Goodbye Miss Morgenstern."

I gasped and ran back into the kitchen, my discarded Apple laying forgotten on the floor. I barely had enough time to gather my hair before throwing up in the sink. I shivered when I thought about that voice. It sounded like Jace but not. It was all twisted and wrong. But yet, it sounded familiar. Where the hell had I heard that before?

* * *

 **Jace's POV**

Kyle and Simon had already left by the time I got there. Figures. I decided I was just going to get food at Taki's when my phone vibrated. It was Isabelle, she said that I needed to get back to the Institute, Robert had something to tell me. Of course she said father. I sighed, I'd already began picturing what I was going to have at Taki's too. Oh well I can get it another day.

I walked back to the institute, I wasn't in a rush. Isabelle would've told me if it was urgent. Speaking of the devil, I noticed Isabelle ducking around the corner at the other end of the street. I wonder what she's doing. I cleared my thoughts as I walked in the institute doors.

Robert was waiting for me, in front of the elevator. "The Clave wants that bloodsucking vampire you're always around. Make sure they get what they want." He spat before turning around and heading into the elevator. I know I should be making my way to Simon, but I leant against the wall. Apparently I was supposed to walk a lot today.

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

"You know, you're the one who said half an hour. If you needed longer, you should've said." Isabelle said, jokingly.

"I didn't think it would take me this long."

"It's cool. What is this place anyway?" Isabelle asked as we headed to the alter. I carefully rubbed my arms, noticing the stinging burns that lay upon them. Isabelle noticed and said they'll heal. I tried to believe her.

"I think it's supposed to be a church...what are you doing?" I asked as Isabelle stopped listening and got down on her hands and knees. "If it's a church, than there should be shadowhunter gear here." She responded matter of factly. Her voice, however, seemed to get fainter and fainter, the further I moved away. I was trying to look for anything that would indicate that she was right.

I was walking around when a painting caught my eye. While it wasn't really the painting but the eyes in the painting. They were dark, evil, empty of any good emotion. "I'm sorry it had to be this way...Goodbye Miss Morgenstern."

I choked as I realised it was the same voice from before. Tears welled up in my eyes as I tried to keep my calm. Suddenly a cold hand grabbed my shoulder and I screamed. "OH MY-ISABELLE?!"

"What's going on with you?" Isabelle questioned, although her voice sounded firm, there was nothing but concern dancing in her eyes.

"Nothing. Just the church is really creepy. That's all, promise". I've never been good with lies but she nodded and turned away.

"How about we came back another day?" Isabelle suggested and I did all I could from jumping up and down. I quickly said goodbye before dashing in the opposite direction before she could change her mind.

Heading into my room, I realised I was so much more tired than I originally thought I was. I quickly brushed my teeth and hair before changing into a simple T-shirt and shorts. I climbed into bed, forgetting about the ring that was still around my neck. The second my head hurt the pillow, I was out.

* * *

 **Third Person POV**

The red haired was sparring with the golden boy. They were laughing and occasionally there was the affectionate gesture. The wind blew the red hair in front of her eyes, which gave him the opportunity. He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back into the tree. His eyes, empty of all emotion, staring into her own. The red haired couldn't stop from whimpering. Out of nowhere, a white blonde man and another bit who had to be his son approached them.

The son spoke. "You stupid girl! You think father would forgive you? You think your boyfriend was actually in love with you?" He laughed.

"Please," she begged. "Let me go." Tears streaked down her cheeks. The man brushed away her tears. "Don't cry, daughter. You'll be free." The smirk told her that she wasn't going to like being free.

The golden boy, pulled out a knife and aligned it with her heart. "Please, no. Don't do this please. I love you." She pleaded, but knowing fully that she couldn't change this.

"This has to happen. You must be set free. Goodbye my love." He whispered as he drove the knife home.

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

I screamed as I woke up, again the dream slipping beyond my grasp. My door cracked open and light flooded the dark room. Luke's silhouette appeared in the door way. Immediately seeing the tears, Luke padded over to my bed and pulled me into a wolf hug. Mom was there, in the other side, shaking as much as I was. "Are you okay, sweetie?" I nodded, trying to stop crying but unable to. "Just a nightmare." I stumbled.

"What was it about?" Mom asked.

"I-i don't know, don't remember." I stuttered. She nodded and they both held me until they both fell asleep in my room.

"You must be set free."

That same empty voice whispered. I sat there, wishing the ground would swallow me up and I would never have to sleep again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Clary's POV**

As I had expected, sleep evaded me for the rest of the night. Luke and mom had left at some point, hoping I would eventually drift off to sleep. Instead, I had found myself shaking, struggling to put pencil to paper. Some people write in dream journals, I draw in mine.

As I couldn't remember my dream, I wasn't exactly aware of what my vibrating hand was sketching. The beautiful, bright sunlight shone and contrasted with the darkest version of Jace I had ever seen. His eyes twinned with Sebastian, his lips frozen in a dead smirk. His runes were bloody, his hand reaching to strangle the artist.

Terrified, I grabbed the edge of the paper and pulled. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't tear the picture. Scared to death, my sketchbook hit my bedroom wall with a thunk, my still-shaking-hand outstretched. I turned away from where it landed, screwing my eyes shut, as if I could block out the memory. I didn't need nor want that image weighing on my heart or mind.

As I began to calm down and collect myself, I realised Robert was supposed to train me today. I hastily showered and dressed. Taking a pen in my hand, mind flashing back to that image, I quickly scrawled a note for mom. I dropped the pen, with another thud, desiring nothing but to destiny anything even remotely connected with that drawing. As I headed out the door, I tried to pretend that last night and this morning never even existed.

* * *

The sky seemed to be sobbing, heavily and the clouds were jagged and sharp instead of round and soft. Definitely foreshadowing that something bad was about to happen. Refusing to be any later to training than I already was, I took a deep breath and sprinted in the direction of the institute.

I didn't stop until I was in the elevator, catching my breath. Walking out the doors, I heard someone breathing. My heart sped up and my mind went to the darkest place. I spun around, latching onto my opponent's shoulders. I slammed my attacker into the wall behind us, disorientating him. Still acting on impulse, I pulled him away from the wall and threw him into the ground.

"Well done, Clary." Were the words that brought my rational side back. I had just attacked Robert Lightwood. Embarrassed, I quickly helped him up.  
"I'm so sorry, Robert. I-I just didn't know it was you." I rubbed my arm, head as low as it could go.  
"Don't worry about it. It's just training." He brushed off his pants and headed into the training room.

Once my embarrassment subsided, I began to notice how much I had improved. Maybe this means Jace will agree to train me. ' _Probably not_ ,' the darker voice responded. ' _He can't even stand to around you. He'd prefer it if you were dead.'_ I shook my head. Ever since my nightmares started, the ones I can't recall, this voice always points out the worst. I hate it.

* * *

On the way home, my mind battled with itself over Jace. I miss him, but some part of me screams that he can't care less. My vision suddenly blurred and I lost control of my feet. I fumbled for my stele as an overwhelming urge to sleep over came me. I lost my footing and fell against the hard concrete path. I couldn't get up. I...I just wanted...to rest...close my...eyes for a mome...

Splitting pain from where my head collided with the concrete was the last thing I remembered.

* * *

 **Third Person POV**

A lone red head was running for her life down city lanes and alleyways. An older man, hair almost white, had evil intentions as he chased her. Hope of getting away fleeted her when she reached a dead end. But her golden saviour arrived. She ran into his arms, once he had jumped down. The older man appeared and walked towards the couple. Her saviour's arms tightened around her uncomfortably.

"Wha-" She tried to make sense of it all as the older man came closer, his knife dangerously close. Tears ran down her cheeks as the pain from her heart made her double over. "Why?" She whispered as the older man drove his knife home. Both men watched as the light faded from her eyes. The golden saviour looked on as her lifeless body crumpled to the ground. Her last expression showed the murder as if her eyes were just a screen.

* * *

 **Simon's POV**

After being notified on the happenings of Camille, I headed back to Jordan's place. I was tired, even if the sun doesn't burn me, it seems to suck my energy. Walking along, I caught sight of red hair sprawled on the ground with a tiny crowd.

A slightly closer look had my unbeating heart running a mile. "Clary?!" The crowd parted and I bent down to my best friend's limp body. My hand shook as I reached for her pulse. Relief filled me when the faint pulse danced across my fingertips. I carefully slid my arms underneath her knees and head as I picked her up.

I sprinted as fast as I could without hurting Clary. The Institute being my sole destination. Reaching the doors, a thought slammed into my mind as I skidded to a stop. I couldn't get in.  
I kicked and screamed, looking insane to the mundane who saw. Finally Alec's face appeared, with Isabelle bashing the door down.

"Clary?!" Both siblings cried.

Alec gently shifted her into his arms and I had to resist the protective urge. She needed help, help that I couldn't give her. They both rushed away as I fell to the steps. I let myself worry about Clary because I knew she would be okay. But I had to worry, that's what I do.

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

I had a huge headache, even if I was only on the edge of consciousness. The abyss tried dragging me back under. The drawing of dark Jace summoned my nightmares. Without wanting to, I fell back into sleep's hands.  
" _If only you weren't you."  
"Why?"  
"Goodbye Miss Morgenstern."  
"Don't cry, you'll be free."  
"You must be set free."  
"You think your boyfriend was actually in love with you?"  
"Goodbye my love_."

My eyes fluttered open, just for a second. Washed white walls and off white ceilings. Infirmary? Before I could grasp any other tangible thought, my eyes slid close, trapping me in darkness yet again.

* * *

 **Third Person's POV**

 _The golden haired spoke before driving the dagger home. The red haired looked into his eyes and the cold, unforgiving murderous glance was the last thing she saw. The golden boy pulled out a knife and aligned it with her heart... He whispered as he drove the knife home.  
The older man drove his knife home... The golden saviour watched as her lifeless body crumpled to the ground. Her last expression showed the murder as if her eyes were just a screen. _

Suffocating sobs in the emptiness filled the silence that consumed the infirmary. Isabelle muffled nee sobs as she stared at her best friend. Said best friend was laying on a bed, almost lifeless. Her skin matched the starch white bandage wrapped around her head.

Alec had managed to subdue most of the blood. Wrapping the bandage was the attempt to clot the rest. He had left to find Simon, unable to watch the suffering of his parabati's lover. Besides, Simon had to know what was happing.

An eerie silence was cast over the infirmary as Isabelle controlled herself. The silence felt deadly and proved itself as a gut wrenching scream pierced the air. Clary. 


	3. Chapter 3

_Quick Disclaimer: I do not own mortal instruments or anything you recognise._

* * *

 **Third Person POV**

A red haired girl was perched on the end of the bed, watching. The subject she was watching was no other than her boyfriend, who was sleeping. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, everything felt perfect. "You know," a voice, laced with sleep, startled her. "Watching me sleep usually means you're a stalker." He finished, eyes still closed, undisturbed. She giggled before turning her watching eyes to face the window, to watch the birds on the trees.

A scream sliced through the air as the red head was pulled backwards. The bedroom door crashed open, one hinge still gripping the door. A guy with white hair was positioned where the door had been, only moments before. His eyes were the devil and when she needed her boyfriend, his eyes matched. "No," she whispered, struggling to free herself from the arms that used to bring her comfort.

"Relax, little sister. You aren't going anywhere." The guy with devil eyes spoke as he approached the couple on the bed.

"Jace, please." The girl cried, fearing what she knew would come next.

"Relax, Clary. Everything is the way it's meant to be." Her boyfriend tried to calm her down, his arms tightening.

Before she knew what was going on, a dagger ripped through her stomach. She locked eyes with her older brother, about to accuse him. Her mouth froze when the emotions dancing on her brother's face was those of shock and grief. "It had to be this way, love. I am truly sorry." Her boyfriend whispered as he worked the dagger into her heart.

* * *

Isabelle ran to her friend's side as Alec burst through the infirmary doors. "What's going on? Is she okay?" Isabelle panicked. She was aching for the reassurance only her brother could deliver. But glancing in his eyes, she felt her heart drop further. He couldn't give her what she needed most, Alec didn't know if her best friend, practically sister, was going to be okay. Isabelle cried, she cried for the first time in a long time, and all Alex could do was comfort her.

He wrapped his arms around his younger sister. He allowed his eyes to drift to his parabatai's girlfriend. She was silent. But for only a second before she lurched forward, gasping as if she hadn't been breathing. "Clary?!" The lightwood siblings yelped as they ran to her. By this time, the girl in question, was sitting bolt upright with her eyes fluttering. "Clary?" Isabelle tried again, gently. Clary's eyes met Isabelle's which made Isabelle gasp. Immediately after, her eyes slammed shut and Clary's body fell lifelessly against the bed.

Even though Alec was deeply concerned with Clary, his sister always came first. "Izzy, what did you see?" Concern dripped from his tongue.

"Her eyes, her eyes." She repeated, like a mantra, unable to say the words she desperately needed to.

"Her eyes? Clary's eyes? What about them, what's wrong?" Alec was getting impatient and growing more concerned. "Izzy, snap out of it!" He shook her shoulders, snapping her back into reality.

"Her eyes, Alec. They-they weren't their normal bright green, the ones filled with light and hope. They-they were dull, faded. As if the colour had left them, as if they were dead."

Alec swore. There hadn't been enough records of Shadowhunters' eyes losing colour, but there was one possible explanation. "Alec, what's happening?" He had never heard Isabelle that timid. His heart wrenched.

"It's a sign that a greater demon is casting a spell."

"Greater demon?" Silence fell over Isabelle. "Wait, Lilith's a greater demon, right? Is this Lilith's spell?"

"Who else's would it be?" Alec glanced at Clary. It was as if she waiting for them to figure everything out. At that moment a flat beep was heard all around the infirmary.

* * *

 **Jace's POV**

Simon had taken awhile. The clave must either have some problem with him or something happened. I left Simon at the Institute about five hours ago. What could possibly happen in five hours? Either way I was currently crashing on the couch watching Jordan play Halo. Just then my phone vibrated in my pocket. I was going to ignore it when Jordan glanced at me. Like if I wasn't going to answer it, he would. I sighed and reluctantly pulled my phone out of my pocket. "Hello?"

"Jace, it's Simon. Clary's hurt. Get your arse to the institute now!" Simon's voice rang out from the phone. The line went dead. I slowly put my phone in my pocket while I registered what happened. "Jace? What happened?" Jordan asked but I sprinted out the door and ran as fast as I could to get down to the street.

I heard heavy footsteps behind me and knew it was Jordan. "What's going on?" He asked breathlessly. We kept running as I answered. "Simon said Clary's hurt." I pushed on further ahead. Using all the energy in me to get to the institute faster. As soon as we got there I pushed open the doors and they slammed against the walls. I ran to the elevator but quickly decided on the stairs. I took off at the stairs, running like there was no tomorrow. I had to get to the infirmary.

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

I couldn't hear my heart, but it felt like it was running a mile. My lungs were burning as if I had been deprived of air. Was I dying? Is that what this feels like?

 _"Relax Clary. Everything is the way it's meant to be."_

 _"It had to be this way, Love. I am truly sorry."_

Those two sentences bounced around my mind, crashing into the sides of my head. It was like I had heard those sentences before but I had no recollection of them. It even sounded like Jace. Had he said those things to me before? Am I afraid of Jace?

 _'Im so sorry, Jace.'_

* * *

 **Third Person POV**

Alec and Isabelle was standing, distraught, next to Clary's bed. Her heart was silent, her skin stone cold and paper white, her lungs seizing up. Isabelle was in tears and Alec couldn't think of how to help her. The doors flung open and Jace ran into the infirmary, heading straight for Clary. "Jace," Alec whispered but he paid no attention to Alec.

When he heard the flatline, he ran to her right side, placing his lips on hers, his attempt to resuscitate her. He took a breath and started compressions. He was not going to lose her. As he went back to administering the kiss of life, he heard the machine pick up the beeps. Her heart began racing, trying to make up for lost time. Jace realised that all doubt that he was going to hurt her had disappeared. He broke the kiss and stared at Isabelle and Alec.

But his attention was quickly brought back when Clary gasped. His head whipped around to see Clary struggling to sit up. His arm snaked around her back and helped her sit upright. He grabbed her hands and breathed in time with her. Their breathing locked together and her eyes slowly drifted open. Her eyes were still dull and faded. "Clary," Jace began softly, as she started crying. "What's wrong?" He didn't want to pressure her, but needed to know if she was okay. She was his lifeline.

"I'm so sorry, Jace. I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She whimpered.

"It's alright. You're okay, now. We're all okay. Everything will be okay." He murmured in a loving tone. "I love you..." Clary trailed off as her eyes began to close, her body needing rest. Jace cocooned her in his arms as she fell into his lap.

* * *

The girl was laying on the boy in what looked like a greenhouse. It was beautiful, flowers blooming and some were even glowing. The outside was deep black, the deep of night, but inside the greenhouse, the lights were all one could see. Her eyes were closed, just for a minute, while she basked in the happiness. However, that was when everything changed. When her eyes opened, there were two more figures in the greenhouse. One was a man and the other was no doubt the man's son. The boy she was lying with, was now standing, a sword destroying his Angel like appearance. His eyes hard, like a solider in a war. The son grabbed the girl, roughly, by the shoulders.

The boy from before approached his loving girlfriend, gently placing the tip of the sword over he heart. The girl's eyes filled with fear. "How could you?" She whispered, betrayal working its way through her features. "I'm sorry, Clary."

"Isn't it romantic? To die by your lover's hands? To see his face as the last thing?" The son whispered as the man beckoned for the boy to complete the murder. He will hurt her, she thought. He will kill her. "Goodbye, Clarissa Morgenstern." The boy murmured, his tone dripped with love. The sword paced through her heart and she felt no pain as she died, looking into her lovers eyes. Emptiness and betrayal stayed in her cold, dead eyes. Her body was left to rot.

* * *

 **Third Person POV**

Clary woke, gasping for air. She remembered this dream, this nightmare. But at that moment, all she could think about was the boy next to her had hurt her. He tried to kill her. He succeeded, didn't he? It didn't matter, he would do it again. She would die at his hands, unless she did something. She bolted from the bed to the door, which was locked. Frantically, she jiggled the handle, nothing working. By now, the boy had woken up and hesitantly approached her. "Clary?" He whispered. His arm stretched out as if he was patting a stray dog. She pushed him away and ran to the corner on the other side of the bedroom.

"Please, please. Stay away, please don't kill me, please don't hurt me." She begged. Her mind slowly breaking as she tried to will herself out of this situation. Her breathing git faster and faster and faster and faster. Until her lungs couldn't take it and she blacked out.

Jace, with tears springing in his eyes, walked to his girlfriend and picked her up as Isabelle came in. "I heard Clary crying, is everything o-" Seeing the two, she stopped. Jace looked at her with sad puppy eyes. "We might have a problem."


	4. Chapter 4

_Quick Disclaimer: I do not own mortal instruments or anything you recognise._

* * *

 **Third Person POV**

There was a bump that came from downstairs. A red haired girl sat up on her bed, listening. A knock and a scream followed. The girl's blood began pumping, adrenaline rushing through her veins. Something was wrong and she had to go, now. She scrambled off her bed, stumbling towards her window. Opening her escape route, she hesitated. Her window was on the second floor, would she make that jump?

Footsteps creaked on the stairs. Someone was coming, and if they found her, things would not end well. She brought her attention back to the window. Now would be her only opportunity. She climbed up on the window sill and prepared to jump. A scream came out of her mouth, as she fell.

Backwards, back into the room, she fell. A figure stood over her. Another was laying on the floor at her door. She cried out "Mom?!" Her mother didn't move. A third person moved to the doorway, bending down and grabbing her mother. "If she wasn't so weak, we wouldn't be here." His eyes as black as oil. They sucked the life out of everything.

She couldn't fight back. The fighter in her was scared, desperate to flee. Her eyes spilt tears as she tried to crawl back to her window. A foot stomped on her hand, preventing her attempt. She dragged her eyes to meet those of her captor's.

Gold. His eyes were gold, but there was no life shinning through them. Just cold. Her captor grabbed her shoulders and forced her into a sitting position. "Don't struggle and this won't hurt, okay?" His voice sounded gentle, as if it once matched his eyes. A blade came from behind his back, quickly positioned over her heart. She began hyperventilating. She didn't want to die, not like this! But fate had other plans, and no longer cared what she wanted. The life ran away from her and her eyes fell cold, lifeless and broken. She was dead. "Goodbye, Clarissa Morgenstern."

* * *

Gasping, Clary bolted up. Blinking away the sleep, she glanced at her surroundings. She was in a room that was unnaturally white. The walls were white, the ceiling was white, the floor was white, even the bed and sheets were white. It hurt to look anywhere. There was a warmth on her right hand, holding it in position.

"No," she breathed. This was not going to happen. She had to get away before they killed her again. She began struggling, pulling her arm, trying to free herself. The warmth grabbed on tighter. Using her other hand, she managed to push the warmth off of her hand. She stumbled off the bed, crashing into the IV stand next to the bed. She ripped the IV out of her arm before staggering backwards, knocking over the IV stand. The loud crash woke her captor up.

"Clary?" The boy called out, fear laced through his voice. Clary couldn't pull herself up to her feet and instead tried to crawl away. The boy stood up, towering over her small frame. He barrelled towards her. "No!" She cried out. He jolted to a stop.

"Clary?" He whispered, his voice melting.

"Get-get away from me!" She yelled, hands in front of her face, tears streaking down her cheeks. She felt so broken, so utterly afraid of the world.

He stopped a few meters from her. His face looked sad, as if he was going to cry if she continued to push him away. Her head tilted as she tried to understand what that meant. Didn't he want to hurt her? Didn't he want to kill her? He wasn't supposed to be sad, he's a murderer! All these thoughts hurt her head.

Other voices chimed in:

" _Goodbye, Clarissa Morgenstern"_

 _"Don't struggle and this won't hurt, okay?"_

 _"He's a murderer! Don't trust him!"_

 _"Run! Get away from him! We can't move! If we don't move he won't attack!"_

 _"I'm scared! Please no!"_

She couldn't think. Which were her thoughts? Why were there so many voices? Her hands clamped over her ears. A scream sounded out through the white room. The doors burst open with a flood of people rushing in. Maryse, Jocelyn, Luke, Isabelle and Alec had heard Clary's scream and had thought the worst. However, once they were all inside the infirmary, everyone froze, unsure of how to approach the situation. Clary was curled into a corner with Jace standing a few meters away, a few seconds away from collapsing from heart break. Jocelyn and Luke rushed to their daughter/step daughter, aiming to give her comfort. Something that hurt Jace even more.

* * *

 **Jace's POV**

I stood in the middle of the infirmary, meters away from the love of my life. But I couldn't get any closer because she seemed terrified, screaming at me to stay away. She was obviously in pain and I couldn't comfort her. That's what hurt the most. I couldn't make my feet move towards her no matter how much my heart cried out to comfort her. Getting closer would only bring more pain and fear to my beautiful girlfriend. I couldn't do that to her.

Helpless, I watched as Luke and Jocelyn rushed passed me and collect Clary into their arms. My knees gave out as my heart shattered. Darkness was the last thing I was conscious of.

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

I was vaguely aware of comforting hands guiding me to a car and then, before I knew it, I was sitting on a bed. The room I was in was familiar, my bedroom. Still shaking, I grabbed the covers and curled up underneath them. Why did that guy act the way he did? He's supposed to kill me, he will kill me. So why did he look so sad? So hurt? His eyes seemed so different, like they loved me and were hurt because I was. But that didn't make any sense. None at all.

Tossing and turning throughout the night, kept me awake. Every time I closed her eyes, I saw him; golden eyes so empty, so cold, hand drenched in blood and weighed down by a knife. Tears rolled from his eyes as he moved forward. Screaming, I struggling, trying to get away from him. I screamed myself hoarse as arms and hands wrapped around me. It took minutes for me to realise it was just mom and Luke.

After the fifth time, I stopped trying. Sleep wasn't worth it, if I was ever going to get to sleep. So I stared at the ceiling until I couldn't tell up from down. Eventually, a book found its way into my hands and my eyes lazily slid around the pages. Anything to keep the nightmares and murderers at bay.

* * *

 **Isabelle's POV**

It had been two days since Clary woke up and Jace passed out. No one had any clue as to what was happening with Clary, not even Magnus. I felt so sorry for Jace and my heart wrenched for both of them. Couldn't they just have their happily ever after yet? The Angel Raziel knows how deserving each of them are for a happy ending.

I was passing the library entrance when I overheard Mom and Jocelyn talking. Curious, my ear pushed against the door and my hand scrawled a rune to amplify my hearing.

"It will take time, Jocelyn. I'm sure it will blow over and it's not anything we need to worry about." Mom's voice spoke.

"I know, Maryse. But you don't hear her nightmares. As far as I know, she's barely sleeping. Her mental health is rapidly declining and no one can do anything!"

"Jocelyn, calm down. I'm sure whatever this is will wear off soon. I mean Jace had nightmares a few weeks ago and they seem to have stopped."

"Maryse, I want to say that your right and believe that she will be fine. But it's not normal. I spoke to Luke and we think that a mundane asylum might be the best place for her right now. At least for a couple of days." I heard Mom gasp as I leaned away from the door. A mundane asylum? No way!


	5. Chapter 5

**_Quick Author's Note:_**

 ** _I wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who has read this story so far and an especially huge thank you to those who have reviewed it as well. I appreciate all the support._**

 ** _To let everyone know, as of July 2018, the past four chapters have changed, as I rewrote them all. So if you read those chapters before July 2018, please go back and read them as otherwise this chapter may not make complete sense._**

 ** _The other thing I want to let you guys know, I'm cross-publishing/cross-uploading (if either of those are real words, I'm gonna say they are, shhhh, they're totally real words) this story here on Fanfiction as well as on Wattpad, under the username Kittytwisaga. So it's your choice, your preference which website/app you read it on._**

 ** _City of Fallen Dreams by xInfinitekittyx available at your convenience :)_**

 ** _But seriously thanks everyone who has given a little time out of their day to something I have created. Please don't be afraid to review and leave some advice, I'm always looking to improve._**

 ** _And last east but not least, disclaimer: I do not own the mortal instruments series or anything else you may recognise._**

 ** _Enjoy chapter 5!_**

* * *

 **Third Person POV**

Jace didn't know what to think. A mundane mental institution? Why would Jocelyn ever think that that was a good idea? It's insane! "Isabelle, we can't let that happen." Jace grabbed Isabelle by the shoulders, his eyes wild.

"I agree, but I don't know when she's going to do it." She smiled sadly, as if she was giving up.

"I'll find out and then we can stop it from happening. If she's in an institution, we can't help her."

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

I was finally able to get a few hours of peaceful sleep before mom came in. "Sweetheart, I need to talk to you about something." She explained her thoughts about me. She turned away, not wanting to face my anger. But I wasn't angry.

"It's okay, mom. I think that might be the best place for me right now." I completely agreed with her. My head was the clearest it's been since all of this started. I knew Jace wasn't out to get me but it didn't stop the dread I felt when I thought about him. I don't completely trust myself to be anywhere on my own, anymore. It's tearing me apart to not be able to trust myself, to know exactly what I'd do in any possible situation. It's like I don't know who I am and that's what scares me the most.

"I'll get ready and then we can leave. The sooner this happens, the quicker I'll be out right?" I ask mom, my voice sounding like a little girl's.

"Of course. I'm sorry Clary." She apologised as she left the room. I knew there wasn't much point in changing since I'll probably have to change when I get there and that I wasn't allowed anything. I brushed my hair, braiding it quickly before slipping some shoes on and heading downstairs.

* * *

We hopped in the car and Luke drove to the gates of the institution. He glanced in the rear view mirror. "Are you sure that you're okay with this?" I nodded. "Jocelyn? Are you sure that this is what's best for her?" Mom nodded, opening the car door. "Okay then. I'll see you soon, kiddo." He gave me a wolfly grin and I flashed him a quick smile.

Standing on the sidewalk outside made the reality seem so much worse. I was actually losing my mind and not even a warlock could fix it. Another person was suddenly beside us. "You can't do this." Jace. Jace was trying to talk mom out of it. "If you admit her, we'll never be able to help her. Alec and Isabelle think it's something to do with Lilith. A mundane institution can't help her." He paused, catching his breath. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"You mean why didn't I tell you?" Mom countered, understanding filling her eyes.

"This is why I didn't, Jace. I knew you would try and talk me out of this. It's not a full admittance. I can take her out whenever. We're going to trial it for a few days." His golden eyes snapped to me.

"I want this, Jace. I don't know myself anymore and I can't hurt you anymore than I already have. Please let me do this, Jace." His eyes filled with pain but nodded.

"I'll find a way to fix this, I promise." I grabbed his hand.

"I know you will."

* * *

 **Third Person POV**

Clary and Jocelyn headed inside the massive gates, leaving Jace outside. Clary's mind was becoming cloudy once again and she stumbled as her mind drifted else where.

 _All she could hear was her own harsh breathing as she ran. Flashes of buildings and streets went by. She had no clue where she was and at this point she no longer cared. Feint shouts from Jocelyn and Luke drifted by in the wind, but she couldn't stop. He was everywhere, Valentine. Blood dripping down his chest, a dark smirk ghosted on his face. And he wasn't alone._

 _Jace was there, but he looked like Jonathan's twin. The only variance was the hair. Jace's was good but red had been splattered through it and Jonathan's was a ghost white. She had lost her golden Angel and every step she ran from him, her heart broke a little more._

 _The pavement felt hard as her feet contacted with it. She didn't look where she ran, she didn't care. Until her foot slipped and she tumbled. Crashing down onto the pavement went her body and her hopes at escaping. The thundering footsteps behind her slowed down and laughter rang out in the dead silence. She couldn't let this happen! She wasn't going to die at his hands!_

 _She scrambled and pulled herself up and darted into the nearest alley. Taking the sharp left and then the right, she didn't let herself look behind. She didn't want to give up her hope that she had lost them._

 _Music sounded in her ears and she couldn't even register that Simon's band's van was in front of her. She dashed behind the van and sunk to her knees against a brick wall. The heavens opened up and immediately she was soaked. But that didn't matter, it couldn't. She was just thankful that it hid her tears._

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

Walking into the institution was almost like admitting defeat, but I couldn't let myself roam freely. I was destroying myself and Jace in the process. If this is what it would take for me to get better than I would anything. The receptionist was nice enough and eventually a nurse came out to take me into the office. Mom and I signed some papers and the nurse from earlier came back. "I'll show you to your room, while your here." I nodded, hugging mom and promising to see her in three days.

"Not a single day longer, mom." She crossed her heart and the door closed behind me.

The nurse led me down corridor after corridor, taking lefts and rights along the way. "You get used to it." She mentioned seeing the puzzlement on my face. I nodded, hopefully I won't get used to it. My head began to swim and thoughts of Jace disappeared replaced with the golden eyes murderer. I whimpered.

"Here we are." The Nurse said, unlocking the door. It was one of many in this corridor. The inside didn't seem too bad. Hopefully he can't get me in here. "Home for however long." I walked in, barely making it to the centre of the room before collapsing and crying. As the door swung shut, I could've sworn I saw the nurse's eyes flash black but I could've been wrong. After all, I had to make sure the golden eyed guy wasn't going to kill me.


	6. Chapter 6

_Quick Disclaimer: I do not own mortal instruments or anything you recognise_

 **Part II - Is This A Dream**

 **Is this a dream?**

 **His arm is tight against my waist**

 **It's only a dream, I tell myself**

 **I feel the chill of the blade against my throat**

 **I'm just dreaming, none of this is real**

 **Scream and you lose, he whispers against my ear**

 **This is my imagination, I'm sure**

 **...**

 **I don't know what's going on**

 **Dreams are meant to be clear**

 **I can feel his breath deepen, why?**

 **...**

 **I wish I knew what to scream for**

 **But no-one can hear you in dreams**

 **I just wish he'd stop**

 **Dreams always have to end**

 **I feel the dagger break my flesh, see the blood**

 **You don't bleed in dreams**

 **I feel the blood running down my skin, hot and red**

 **This is all wrong**

 **Why am I feeling this? Why does it hurt?**

 **Dreams aren't real**

 **...**

 **Bleeding, dying, leave me here**

 **I come to my senses and I realize there's no-one**

 **This isn't a dream**

 **...**

 **This is not a dream**

 **(Best teen poems .com)**

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

"Good morning!" The door is flung open, shattering the silence. My eyes fly open, searching the room wildly before resting on the nurse. It's a different nurse from last night. A flash of last night's memory plays before my eyes.

 _'As the door swung shut, I could've sworn I saw the nurse's eyes flash black but I could've been wrong.'_

I shook the memory out of my head. Not long after midnight, my mind calmed down and found clarity once again. I was out of my mind when I saw the nurse last night. They definitely didn't flash any colour. She was a mundane, nothing supernatural whatsoever.

"Clarissa?" The nurse startled me for the second time that morning. My eyes flickered back to her face.

"It's Clary." I muttered softly, knowing that it didn't really matter.

"Clary, I thought I should go over the schedule for the day with you as its your first one." The nurse explained, approaching the bed cautiously.

I gave her a soft smile, appreciating her using my nickname. I bunched myself into a sitting position, letting her have space at the end of the uncomfortable bed. "So first, you'll attend breakfast. It's a bit like a cafeteria but there are orderlies around every corner, so no funny business. Then you will be assessed by a staff psychologist and speak with social services. In the afternoon you will attend a group therapy session before having time to roam and get used to the place. Dinner and then bed will end the first day. I'll see you tomorrow to go over tomorrow's agenda as well. Any questions?" I shook my head. I know I agree with mom and made the decision to come here but that didn't mean I didn't want out almost immediately.

The nurse led me out and said that she'll show me to the cafeteria. On the way, she explained that while I was here, there would be no phone calls or visitors, since I would only be here for a few days. However, I was beginning to worry that a few days might turn into forever.

" _Don't struggle and this won't hurt, okay?_ " A voice spoke. My eyes darted all around me and the corridor we were walking down. It took me a little while to realise that the voice was inside my head and that it was Jace's. But not the guy I loved with all my heart but the one placed in my mind to spark insanity. This was going to be a long road of recovery if I had to travel the mundane way. I really hoped that the others had figured something out or were close to getting somewhere.

* * *

 **Third Person POV**

Jocelyn and Luke arrived back at Luke's house with Jace in tow. Getting out of Luke's car, Jocelyn stumbled, her vision watery from leaving her daughter at a mental institution. Luke's strong arms wrapped around her as she began to cry for the first time since seeing how broken how little girl had become. Jace awkwardly stood in Luke's front yard, watching his girlfriend's mom cry. His heart had hurt from the minute he knew what they were doing. But it never crossed his mind that it would hurt Jocelyn just as much as well.

* * *

Isabelle and Alec were waiting at the institute. The last thing they heard was Jace slamming his bedroom door as he raced to stop his girlfriend from being incarcerated. "Alec?" Izzy asked her older brother. "Do you think Clary will be okay?" Alec looked at his younger sister. Since everything started with Clary, it seemed like Izzy had shrunk and become his ten year old sister. She looked so young and vulnerable compared to how she was when they had been fighting demons in Alicante just months earlier. Alec remembered watching his sister slay demons left and right, wondering how she grew so old and so independent without him noticing. Now, he wished she could be that version again, because it hurt to see his sister in pain.

"Of course she will." He replied, swallowing his doubts. "She has us, and we will never stop fighting for her."

Simon rushed over to Luke's place after getting the unexpected text from Jace. He arrived as Jace opened the front door. Jocelyn was curled up on Luke's couch, crying her eyes out. Jace didn't look too much better. "Is Clary...is she really...?" Simon couldn't force the words out of his mouth. How had things gone downhill so fast? His best friend was laughing and joking with him last week and now she was wasting away in a mental institution. Jace slowly nodded, trying not to let his mask fall apart, especially not in front of the daylighter. "Oh gosh, Clary." Simon mumbled, feeling the world start spinning in the opposite direction. "I know." Jace whispered softly, both connecting at the deepest level of hurt.

* * *

Magnus was out of his comfort zone when Alec called him. "Magnus?"

"What's wrong Alexander?" Magnus had been dating Alec long enough to know his boyfriend was hurting.

"It's Clary. She's in a mundane mental institution." Magnus was speechless, his brain stopped processing his thoughts.

"Why?" He managed to get out, several scenarios racing through his mind. But the reason was not one that ever crossed his mind, as Alec explained the whole story from the very first time Clary experienced something different to now.

"You said that the first time she fainted that Lilith was involved somehow?" Alec answered Magnus' question, unsure as to his boyfriend's mental pathway. "Well then, I'm certain this is Lilith's trickery. Give me some time and I'll see if I can research a way to undo her spell." Confidence, no matter how fake, seeped into Magnus' tone. It was definitely something that Alec was grateful for.

"Would it be hard?" Alec's concern shifted from Clary to Magnus. He didn't want to lose Magnus to save Clary, no matter how selfish that was.

"Only if Clary fights us. She has to want this fixed and be in her right mind when I do reverse the spell. If it's what I think it is."

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

Group therapy was worse than it sounds. There was about eight of us plus a therapist sitting on chairs in a circle. The therapist announced that we were going to have a chat about fear and panic. "Now everyone deals with fear differently. Joshua, you said that fear makes you angry, right?" Our therapist asked a boy on the opposite side of the circle to me. He nodded. "When I get scared, I punch. Fight until the thing that I'm scared of can't hurt me anymore." This made me want to sink further into my chair. The way he spoke and the words that came out sounded very reminiscent of Sebastian. Or at least what I imagine Sebastian would have said had this question ever come up.

"It's natural to have different responses to fear. Flight or fight being the two ends of the spectrum. Clarissa? How do you deal with fear?" Everyone in our group turned to face me.

"Um, well..." I trailed off when Jace's, or not Jace's voice floated back.

" _Don't struggle and this won't hurt, okay?_ "

"I guess fear makes me-makes me..." The group looked at me expectantly. " _He's going to kill me._ " I whispered. The room shattered with blood in the cracks. Golden eyes and daggers appearing before me. But this time was different, half of my mind remained logical. Jace would never. He wouldn't, he couldn't. Killing me would be killing him, right? I swallowed deeply, trying to calm myself. I closed my eyes before I spoke.

"Fear shatters and kills me."


	7. Chapter 7

_Quick Disclaimer: I do not own mortal instruments or anything else you recognise._

 **Third Person POV**

Clary lay on her temporary bed, staring at the ceiling. With every noise, she flinched, terrified of the guy with golden eyes barging through and killing her. She didn't notice the Nurse that walked in her room to hand her dinner. The nurse's eyes flashed black as she savoured Clary's insanity. "Sweet dreams." The nurse whispered as she emptied a syringe full of sedatives into Clary's arm. That night, Clary was a sleeping duck, anything could happen and she would not wake.

The nurse left and locked the door behind her. Just like any other nurse would have done. Except this one wasn't just any other nurse, her eyes proved that. "Well, mother. Job well done." A man, about seventeen years of age, approached. A visitor's pass clung to his shirt, proclaiming that he shouldn't be there. The nurse turned around, a dark smirk ghosting her lips. "Thank you, son. It won't be long now." The two laughed in unison. The dark laugh ringing out throughout the institution.

The dark laugh twisted and scrambled it's way into Clary's mind, weaving into her dreams.

* * *

The red haired girl was gripping the hands that held the dagger to her chest. "Please don't do this." She whispered to the guy with stone cold, golden eyes. "It's the only way to set you free." He replied, his mouth twitching into a frown. Letting the fear grip her heart, her eyes slammed shut, not wanting to watch. A laugh, one that sounded like it belonged in hell, sounded throughout the room. The girl's eyes flickered open to find another guy, one with black eyes, and an older woman standing opposite her. The dagger had switched positions and was now pointing towards the newcomers.

"Just fix her." The guy with the golden eyes hissed, wrapping his free arm around her tighter. But his grip was no longer constricting. It felt comforting, like he would protect her from anything.

"She has to die, Herondale. She can't be fixed." The older woman smirked. They had won. They wanted her dead. The girl felt stiff in the golden guy's grip. "No. She doesn't need to die. You can fix her." He commanded while denial dripped down from his tongue.

"There is no fixing her." The other man responded, savouring the pain from the couple. The girl refused to stand along the sidelines anymore. She twisted in the golden guy's grip so she now faced him. Her shaking hand reached out and cupped his cheek. How could she have been so foolish? This wasn't her murderer, this was Jace! The love of her life. Taking the dagger with her other hand, she leaned in to kiss him. He returned the kiss and she smiled. This was how she was supposed to die. She plunged the dagger into her chest and fell limp against him as they broke away from the kiss. She felt his tears as her life bled away. She would do anything for Jace.

* * *

 **Magnus' POV**

I had spent hours and hours looking over every single book in my apartment. Alexander had tried helping but gave up when I admitted I didn't know what I was actually looking for. At first I thought I could just simply reverse Lilith's spell but from what Alexander and Jace have told me, it is much too late for that. Clary's mind will be webbed with Lilith's Magic at least a hundred times. That's not something I can reverse, it's not something that even Lilith herself could reverse or break anymore.

The answer stuck out in the book I left abandoned on my kitchen counter. Alexander had come over to keep me company but had spotted what I wished was plan Z. But it had become plan A, there was nothing else that would break this spell and my heart sank, knowing it was true. Alexander and I swallowed our sorrow with tea. There was a knock at my door that startled both of us out of our grieving states. I placed my cup down and made me way to the door.

"Jace." I greeted solemnly. He pushed passed.

"Did you find something Magnus?" His eyes were wild but red. There were puffy and looked as if he's only just stopped crying. Without seeing Clary, I don't know who has it harder. Her or Jace?

"Yes I did." My eyes flicked to the kitchen counter. "But Jace, listen I'm going to-" he had already started moving towards the counter, ignoring me completely.

It took him seconds to scan the page. "No. No, she's not. No, there's gotta be another way. Lilith can undo it right? Clary doesn't have to..." His throat choked, unable to voice his worst fear. Alexander grabbed his parabatai and pulled him into one of the biggest hugs imaginable. "I'm so sorry, Jace. I can't find anything else. Either we let Lilith complete her spell or Clary has to die."

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

My eyes opened slowly the next morning. My head felt sluggish, my thoughts dragging themselves through my mind. What the hell happened, last night? I tried to sit up and realised that the sedatives haven't completely wore off yet and most of my limps were still very numb, unable to move. I felt extremely groggy, unlike anything I've ever felt before. It was the worst feeling ever.

I let my thoughts slowly reached the forefront of my mind, my body just laying on the bed as if it was paralysed. Jace. I wasn't afraid of Jace, I could never be afraid of the one that I loved. Could I? Before I knew what was happening, my thoughts and mind slipped away and I fell back into the abyss, back into the land of dreams.

* * *

The red haired girl looked around at her surroundings. It looked like the institute but very different. It was empty, as if it had just been built. Standing in the centre of the institute was a figure, one facing away from her. She hesitantly moved closer, unable to control her movements within this dream. Once she got close enough to the figure, her hand reached out and touched it on the shoulder. The figure turned to face her, causing her to gasp in surprise and recognition.

"Ithuriel?" She whispered, her mind recollecting the last time she saw him. He looked like he was dying, but now he looked like the image of life.

"Clarissa." He replied in greeting, his voice drowning out the silence. "You must free yourself from this spell or you will destroy everything Raziel has achieved thus far."

"You mean, if I don't, Lilith will win. But why is she doing this?"

"Her and Jonathan Morgenstern will win, Clarissa. The Angels will lose and the demons will reign. You just stop this from happening." Ithuriel's eyes bore straight into Clarissa's.

"How? How do I break the spell?" She whispered, noticing how broken she sounded.

"L'amor che move il sole e l'altre stelle." Ithuriel answered. "Sacrifica questo e tutto sarà risolto." His voice began to fade as she desperately tried to cling onto the dream.

* * *

I was woken up by the nurse coming in. "Sorry to wake you. But we need to go over today's schedule." I nodded but barely listened. My mind returned to my dream with Ithuriel. _L'amor che move il sole e l'altre stelle. Sacrifica questo e tutto sarà risolto._ The love that moves the sun and the other stars. Sacrifice this and all will be fixed.

The first part is definitely talking about the love between Jace and I, but the second part is slightly more confusing. While the nurse talked, one sentence sprang to mind.

' _Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death.'_

Love is strong as death and they say that true love conquers all. Is Ithuriel suggesting that in order for everything to be righted, for this spell to be broken and for Lilith to lose, I have to die?


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey again!**

 **I wanted to just say another huge thank you to you (the person reading these words right now). I appreciate every single read that any of my stories receive and I'm so thankful that you have chosen to read my stories.**

 **I also wanted to give a few shout outs to those who have left a review (or two in some cases) up to the time I post this chapter. So shout out and thank you so much to:**

 **KaitlynB63**

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 **And a special mention to those who have followed and favourited this story or me as the writer! If it wasn't for all of you, reading this right now, I wouldn't be posting my work on a public website. Thank you for the courage to post my stories!**

* * *

 _Quick Disclaimer: I do not know mortal instruments or anything you may recognise._

 **Third Person POV**

The next day saw Jocelyn and Luke pull up to the institution. "Do you think she'll be okay?" Jocelyn asked, nervously as Luke helped her out of his car.

"Of course she will. She's a strong girl Jocelyn." Luke offered to come in with her, but Jocelyn declined. She said that this was something she had to do on her own. By the time she reached reception, her hands had begun to shake like there was no tomorrow. Why am I so nervous? Jocelyn wondered. I'm just picking Clary up. It's not like I'm signing the papers to keep her in here forever. She was taken to the office where she had last seen Clary, by the receptionist.

The inside of the office, matched her memories of the last time she came here. But instead of the same woman, there was a nurse standing at the desk. He turned to face Jocelyn and flashed his eyes at her. "You must be Clarissa's mother. I'll fetch her." The nurse stalked to the door, bumping into Jocelyn on his way passed. A wave of dizziness struck Jocelyn and forced her to crash into the chair not far from where the nurse had been standing. Minutes later the door to the office opened again.

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

It was a huge relief to see mom sitting in the office chair. I wrapped her in a huge hug. "Clary." She sobbed into my shoulder. I just held her tighter than I ever remember holding her before. "It's okay mom, I'm okay." I whispered reassurances into her ears before she found the strength to let me go. We sat down and she signed all of my papers so we could leave. "Take care." The woman, from last time, called out as mom and I bustled out of the door.

Pushing open the institution doors felt good. It had begun to feel a little stuffy in there. I think any longer and I might have actually gone insane. I faked my smile all the way home. I had accepted what Ithuriel had told me and decided that I didn't want anyone to know. I'll figure out later how I'll do it, but until then, I just want things to go back to normal. Obviously I know, Lilith still has her claws in my head, but I'm stronger than her. Jace will never hurt me. He wouldn't dare.

* * *

Hopping out at Luke's, I was engulfed in another hug. "Clary! Don't ever do that again! Not without talking to me first." Simon. My best friend was almost crying as his arms threatened to stop me from breathing. "Simon...you-you're kinda crushing me." I breathed and felt his arms immediately loosen.

"Sorry." He mumbled before pulling me close again, loose this time.

We spent hours hugging, it was like we hadn't seen each other in years. Eventually though, I had to say goodbye. I needed to see Jace, my Jace. I felt tears roll down my face as I changed into something a little more comfortable. I don't think I'm coming back. I have to follow Ithuriel's words as soon as I can, in order to stop Lilith and apparently stop Sebastian, once again. Descending the stairs, I madly blinked the tears away. Mom and Luke was on the couch while Simon took up post at the kitchen bench.

"Simon?" I asked and he turned around. I could read his expression as clear as if he had written the words and stuck them to his forehead.

"Is everything okay, Clary? Your heart skipped a beat." I cursed my heart and his vampiric hearing. How was I supposed to say goodbye to my best friend without him knowing I was saying my final goodbye?

"Yeah, everything's fine Simon. Look, I love you, like my brother." He smiled a smile that almost would've made Jace proud. "You truly are my brother, Simon and I wouldn't know what I would do without you. I guess after everything that's been happening with my mind and everything, I just wanted to say thank you for always being there. And no matter what happens next. I know you're strong enough to handle everything." I forced back the tears and wrapped him in a bear hug. I honestly didn't want to say goodbye to Simon, but I knew both of us would regret it if I didn't.

I didn't let Simon give me an answer before heading to the living room, where mom and Luke were. "Are you going to see Jace, now?" Luke asked, one eyebrow raised. I nodded but turned to mom.

"Mom, I just wanted to thank you for everything you've ever done for me and I hope you and Luke get a happy ever after." I couldn't say too much without the words getting caught in my throat.

"Oh, honey. Thank you too, but where's this coming from?"

"Just felt like I should say it considering everything going on." I turned to face Luke. "Luke, thank you for being like my father. I don't know where mom and I would be if you hadn't have been right there beside us the entire time. Please look out for mom." It sounded more like a goodbye than the others but it was the words I needed to tell him.

"Of course." I could tell they were all very confused, but I couldn't bring myself to tell them the truth. "Okay, well I'm off to see Jace now." My tone changed dramatically but I pretended like I didn't notice.

* * *

 **Jace's POV**

I slumped in the chair in between Alec and Isabelle, at the institute's dining table. We had just finished filling in Isabelle on what Magnus had found out. She reacted just as badly as I did. Her mascara had streaked down her cheeks and her hair was a bird's nest. Now we were sitting in silence, not knowing how to continue or what to aim for next. Everything we had been through, ever since saving her from the demon, has been for nothing. I'm going to lose her and I can't do anything about it.

The elevator doors opened, breaking the silence. Footsteps echoed and swallowed by the vast emptiness of the institute. It was like the building was influenced by our emotions, dropping to the temperature of a freezer with the darkness of midnight. Even though it was midday. The footsteps crept closer and closer. It broke our solitude and we were staring with anticipation to see who walked through the entrance way.

I couldn't believe my eyes when the person came into view. My heart raced a million miles a second and my breathing increased tenfold. I didn't realise how much I truly needed her until she wasn't there. I stumbled to my feet and stood there, immobilised. I couldn't comprehend why my body wasn't moving. My ears were filled with the sound of my heart and my breathing transitioned into hyperventilating. It was like I was having a panic attack because I wasn't next to her.

Her eyes met mine and I was lost in the brilliant green of her eyes. They were clear for the first time in a long time. She had clarity back in her life, she had fought Lilith and won, for now. She took a step towards me, her face twisted with worry. My brows furrowed trying to figure out why she was worried. A wave of realisation hit me, as my head began to spin. I was having a panic attack, something that I had never experienced. Ever.

She rushed forward to my shoulders, obviously recognising the signs. "Jace? Jace, calm down. Breathe. Please breathe, Jace." Alec and Isabelle had leapt to their feet and had swarmed over me. Why was everyone becoming blurry? What was happening to me? "Shh, Jace it's okay." Suddenly her lips were on mine.

When she pulled away, my breathing and slowed and my heart calmed down. "How did you do that?" I asked, breathless. My head still dizzy, but clearing.

"I- uh, read somewhere that holding your breath, can stop a panic attack. So, when I kissed you...you held your breath." She blushed, as she let her beautiful, messy red hair curtain her face.

"I did?" I asked, stupidly. My thoughts trying to wade their way through the murky waters of my mind.

"You did." She answered, smiling at me and pushing her hair behind her ears. Alec and Isabelle had disappeared between my full blown panic attack and Clary kissing me. What was I panicking about? Was it the fact that Clary has to die, so seeing her is bittersweet? Or was it something else?

* * *

 **Third Person POV**

A little later, found Clary and Jace walking into one of the recreational rooms of the institute, hand in hand. He was leading her to the piano, when she stopped. "What's wrong, Clary?" He turned back to look at her, savouring her appearance. "Why did you have a panic attack, Jace? Alec mentioned something about you never having any before." Her voice was small and uncertain. As of she was waiting for her mind to change reality again, for Lilith to twist Jace again. He sighed as he stood in front of her. "Magnus found a way to free you from Lilith's curse. You have to d-" he choked on the last word, but she knew. Clary closed her eyes, letting a tear slip out. "I thought I could spare you that knowledge, Jace."

His eyes flew open, not knowing that they had closed. "What do you mean spare me? You knew and weren't going to tell me?!" His voice reached volumes that it had never reached before. Tears began to fall, intermittently, down her cheeks. " I'm sorry," Clary whispered. Jace's hand shook as he wiped the tears off her cheek. "No," he whispered, his voice so small, gentle, as if he was afraid of breaking her. "I'm sorry, Clary." She sniffled as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and he pulled her closer.

* * *

 **Quick A/N**

 **Did anyone notice the teen wolf reference? Comment below.**


	9. Chapter 9

_Quick Disclaimer: I do not own mortal instruments or the songs featured in this chapter or anything else you recognise_

 **Third Person POV**

They stayed like that for a while. Just soaking each other up and being there for each other. Neither had it easy. Jace was going to lose the one he loved and the best outcome was if she died. Clary was going to die and leave everyone she loves behind and there was nothing she could do about it. "Jace?" They pulled back slightly so they could look each other in the eyes. "Could-could you play piano? On my last day, for me?" Her voice broke, as if it was shattering glass. He nodded and gently pulled her to the piano.

Jace shuffled some papers around until he placed one in front of him. Clary, as curious as she was, looked at the song he had chosen to play. It was her song, her favourite song from a few years ago. How had Jace found that out? She opened her mouth to ask him as he started playing. The delicate notes and rhythm blending together and reminding Clary why she loved this song. Jace nodded to the page of music and silently asked her to sing. She wasn't the best singer but sometimes, no matter the sound, singing can lift the mood greatly.

And so she did.

" _You fascinated me_

 _cloaked in shadows and secrecy_

 _the beauty of a broken angel,"_

Jace smiled when Clary started singing. He knew he would miss this and everything about her. But he also knew that it was a perfect way to say goodbye, without actually saying goodbye. He didn't think his heart or health could ever say goodbye to her.

" _I ventured carefully_

 _afraid of what you thought I'd be_

 _but pretty soon I was entangled_

 _You take me by the hand_

 _I question who I am"_

Clary watched Jace as she sang. It was such a perfect moment that she never wanted to end. She didn't even want to think about what it meant for them. When Clary reached the chorus, Jace joined in.

" _Teach me how to fight_

 _i'll show you how to win"_

 _"you're my mortal flaw_

 _and I'm your fatal sin"_

 _"let me feel the sting_

 _the pain_

 _the burn_

 _under my skin"_

It seemed magical when they both sang together. Neither were amazing singers but in this moment it didn't matter. They were in love and were spending their last day together. They were creating a memory that neither would ever forget.

" _Put me to the test_

 _i'll prove that I'm strong_

 _won't let myself believe_

 _that what we feel is wrong_

 _finally see what_

 _you knew was inside me_

 _all along_

 _That behind this soft exterior_

 _Lies a warrior"_

Jace stopped singing when they reached the second verse. But Clary continued. It was like they had practised this duet, but Clary never knew that Jace had ever listened to this song. It was an amazing gift for both of them to share this.

" _My memory refused to separate the lies from truth_

 _and search the past my mind created_

 _I kept on pushing through, standing resolute which you, in equal measure_

 _loved and hated_

 _You take me by the hand, I'm seeing who I am"_

The chorus once again came and they took turns before singing in unison. By the time the third chorus approached, their voices both dropped to a quieter volume, as if this last chorus was somehow more important than the rest of the song.

" _You take me by the hand, I'm sure of who I am_

 _Teach me how to fight, i'll show you how to win"_

 _"you're my mortal flaw, and I'm your fatal sin"_

 _"let me feel the sting, the pain, the burn_

 _under my skin"_

 _"Put me to the test I'll prove that I'm strong_

 _won't let myself believe that what we feel is wrong_

 _finally see what you knew was inside me all along_

 _That behind this soft exterior Lies a warrior"_

 _"The pictures come to life make me in the dead of night_

 _open my eyes, I must be dreaming_

 _Clutch my pillow tight, brace myself for the fight_

 _I've heard that seeing is believing"_ (Beth Crowley-Warrior)

* * *

Clary's voice finished the song as Jace let the last notes fade and wash away, allowing their song, because after this it was their song, be swallowed by the silence. She lent in and kissed him, his lips moulding against hers so perfectly. He lightly slid his tongue against her bottom lip, to which she sighed. Jace swept his tongue between her lips, pressing his warm soft lips to hers. There was as much desperation in their kiss as there was gentleness and softness. This was one of their last kisses and they both knew it. Salt mixed into their kiss and neither of them knew which one the tears belonged to.

When they broke away, both had tears streaking down their cheeks. This wasn't fair. It too, them forever to admit their feelings for each other and then Valentine told them that they were siblings. When they had found out that they weren't, Jace had been on his way to kill Sebastian and Clary had found him dead. They hadn't really ever been given a chance to be together, now with Lilith messing around. Yet, their love is like a flame, just need to add a little bit of kindling to keep it burning.

 _When your soul finds the soul it was waiting for_

 _When someone walks into your heart through an open door_

 _When your hand finds the hand it was meant to hold_

 _Don't let go_

Soft music filled the silence, mimicking a tune she and Jace both knew. She couldn't for the life of her remember where they had both heard it, but Clary knew they had. It seemed to fit them perfectly, yet Jace didn't believe in a 'couple's song'.

 _Someone comes into your world_

 _Suddenly your world has changed forever_

 _No there's no one else's eyes_

 _That could see into me_

"How can a couple 'have' a song? That's ridiculous Clary! No one 'has' that song aside from the ones who made it. You don't see me claiming that 'oh I made a ham and cheese toastie. No one else can have it without it meaning something to me. You're eating a toastie, aww that's the food I first made. It's so special to me, always think about me when eating that, okay?"

"Why does everything come back to food, Jace?"

"Because we can both relate to food! It's not exclusively Shadow World or Mundane!"

 _No one else's arms can lift_

 _Lift me up so high_

 _Your love lifts me out of time_

 _And you know my heart by heart_

They'd both laughed after that, Clary never did bring it back up again. But the song did seem made for them.

 _When you're one with the one you were meant to be find_

 _Everything falls in place, all the stars align_

 _When you're touched by the cloud that has touched your soul_

 _Don't let go_

Clary sat quietly, listening to the instrumental version of the song that Jace was playing. The lyrics filling her mind as she internally sang them along.

 _Someone comes into your life it's like they've been in your life forever_

 _No there's no one else's eyes that could see into me_

 _No one else's arms can lift, lift me up so high_

 _Your love lifts me out of time, and you know my heart by heart_

 _So now we've found our way to find each other, so now I found my way, to you_

 _No there's no one else's eyes, that could see into me_

 _No one else's arms can lift, lift me up so high_

 _Your love lifts me out of time you know my heart by heart_

(Heart by Heart, Demi Lovato)

* * *

Back at Luke's place, Jocelyn was alone. Her mind was still whirring, trying to figure out why Clary had said those things to them. Luke had told her that 'it was probably normal. She did, after all, just leave a mental institution.' Jocelyn had accepted that at the time, the guilt creeping back into her heart. But there seemed to be something else, another reason. One she just couldn't put her finger on.

 _Some things we don't talk about_

 _Rather do without_

 _And just hold a smile_

It was also the way Clary said those words. It was like she was fighting back tears. But that surely wasn't the case. What did Clary have to worry about that would make her cry?

 _Falling in and out of love_

 _Ashamed and proud of_

 _Together all the while_

Sebastian smirked as he stood, completely alive and well outside the house. Sure, the original plan didn't go very well, but no need. There was a reason you had a plan B. Lilith had told him that he didn't need one, but he was glad he hadn't listened.

 _You can never say never while we don't know it_

 _Time and time again_

 _Younger now than we were before_

It hadn't been that hard either, with a quick disguise rune and some nurse's scrubs, it was too easy. Using a serum that soaked through the skin was pure genius, so much for being a Shadowhunter. His victim didn't even think about it for two seconds.

 _Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go_

 _Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go_

He didn't even worry about being silent. Sebastian knew he was coming in prematurely but he couldn't help it. He wanted to savour the look in her eyes when she submitted to him. It wasn't the eyes he desired to see that look in, but it was close enough. Walking into the living room where she sat, he calmly greeted her like it was a normal occurrence.

 _Picture you're the queen of everything_

 _Far as the eye can see_

 _Under your command_

The fight didn't last long. She jumped and grabbed the side table as her defence. But Sebastian didn't move. He didn't have to. "Well, well well. Hello mother. Good to see you."

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Jocelyn demanded, shocked to see her son standing nonchalantly in the doorway.

"Don't worry too much about that. It's just easier to give in."

"What are you talking about?!" She was getting angry but her arms had started to droop and the side table had fallen to the floor.

"That headache you've had all day? You got that from the nurse at the institution. Which was me, but don't worry. We have a plan to revise." He smirked when the anger left her eyes.

 _I will be your guardian when all is crumbling_

 _Steady your hand_

 _You can never say never while we don't know it_

"What plan?" She asked. He swatted the air as if to ignore her question. Sebastian moved closer to her, taking in her appearance. Her red hair was tangled and imitating a bird's nest. Her clothes was skewed and her green eyes were blank.

"All you have to worry about is that the next person to walk in this house, doesn't leave. Okay?" She nodded as he walked out the door. He was so glad that he had a plan B. It was just unfortunate that he was going to need some faith in the Angels in order for his plan to work perfectly.

* * *

 _Time, time and time again, younger now than we were before_

 _Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go_

 _Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go_

 _We're falling apart, and we're coming together,_

 _Again and again, we're crawling apart,_

 _But we're falling together, falling together_

 _Together again_

 _Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go_

 _Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go_

 _Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go_

 _Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go_

(Never say Never, The Fray)


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey!**

 **So, it's been a long time *twiddles thumbs in shame*, I apologise for the impromptu hiatus this story seemed to have taken. Well I'm back, for now (we'll see how long this stays, this time). Thanks to everyone who reads this story and I hope you don't hold long grudges, (he. he. Don't hate me, love you!) And once again, I'd like to thank you all for supporting me.**

 **PS. Tiny bit of swearing in this chapter. Just thought I'd mention it.**

* * *

 _Quick Disclaimer: I do not own mortal instruments or anything you may recognise, which includes the poems in the part chapters (the website where I found them is mentioned - information on the author is in my Wattpad version)._

 _Loving and fighting_

 _Accusing, uniting_

Clary and Jace spent the rest of the day sitting at the piano. The last note had finished a long time ago, but they didn't mind sitting in the silence. The light was getting sucked away by the sunset captured in the huge windows behind them. "Jace, I have to go." Clary mumbled quietly. It had to be now.

"No. Not yet, please?" His voice shattered as his demeanour changed to reflect the broken heart inside.

"I have to. If not now, then who knows when Lilith kickstarts the spell back in gear. It has to be now." Jace nodded and wiped the stray tears from Clary's cheeks.

 _I can't imagine a world with you gone_

Clary stood, letting their fingers untangle themselves as she moved away. She had barely reached the door when her phone rang. Confused, Clary answered it. "Mom? What's up?" Jace was by her side in two seconds, not understanding what was going on.

"I, uh, could you come by this evening? For dinner?" Her mom's voice shook a little.

"Um, sure. Of course, why?" She was going to have to delay it for a few hours still.

"Luke and I missed you like crazy when you were gone. In fact, I'm still missing you now. It's just-" Jocelyn broke off as she started crying.

"I'll come now, mom. It's okay, I missed you guys too. See you soon." Clary hung up, a lingering doubt still in her mind.

 _The joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of_

* * *

When Clary arrived at Luke's house, a weird feeling struck her heart. It froze the blood in her veins. Something's wrong. She walked a little faster to the door and opened it with the spare key. "Mom?" Clary called tentatively. She wasn't even sure that something had happened, but her instincts told her that something did. "Mom?" Clary called on again as she made her way to the living room.

"Clary?" Jocelyn asked as she entered the living room from the kitchen. She swept Clary into a huge hug.

"Is everything okay, mom?" Clary asked, hesitantly returning the hug.

 _I'd be so lost if you left me alone_

"Everything's fine. Just...adjusting." Jocelyn answered when she pulled back from the hug. She looked at the space surrounding Clary. "Is Jace not coming?" Her face scrunched into confusion.

"I didn't know he was invited." Clary admitted shyly, not sure if she misread the invitation for dinner.

"Of course he's invited. Why don't you go and text him, while you clean up?" Jocelyn suggested, ushering Clary up the stairs.

"Um, okay?" Clary let herself be pushed up but not before she noticed the broken side table, shoved behind the curtains.

 _You locked yourself in the bathroom_

* * *

Jace was still by the piano when Clary texted. He was surprised by her text and decided that he could spend a few hours more with the love of his life.

 **Clary: Mom wants you to come over for dinner.**

He quickly texted a reply as he walked out of the institute.

 **Jace: Okay, guess I'm coming to dinner. See you soon.**

 _Lying on the floor when I break through_

* * *

Approaching the door, Jace stretched his hand to knock but stopped halfway. He was going to have to pretend that Clary wasn't going to die tonight. He was going to have to tell Luke and Jocelyn tomorrow and pretend that they didn't know tonight. He was going to have to lie throughout tonight and give them one normal family dinner before all hell broke loose tomorrow. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door.

 _I pull you in to feel your heartbeat_

Jace had a few clashes as footsteps headed towards the door. Suddenly the front door was swung open and there stop Jocelyn, with a fry pan. "Uh, hi." He managed to say before she smacked him in the head and he blacked out. Jocelyn dropped the fry pan and dragged him inside. Step three of the plan was complete.

 _Can you hear me screaming "please don't leave me"_

Not too long after, Sebastian tied Jace up to a dinning chair, while he sent Jocelyn upstairs to get his sister. He had never left and had simply hid in the closet downstairs while everything else transpired. Tonight, his plan B would be complete and he just hoped that his faith would be strong enough and that Clarissa was important enough.

 _Hold on, I still want you_

* * *

Clary was standing in her bedroom, looking at the photos of her family and friends. A few tears had landed on one of the photos. It wasn't fair that she had to die tonight and it wasn't fair that she knew about it. A soft knock startled her.

"Sorry, sweetheart. Jace and Luke are here. And dinner's ready." Clary nodded as she replaced the photo on the desk.

"Okay. What are we having for dinner?" Clary asked as she and her mom descended the stairs. Once they reached the bottom, Clary shrieked.

 _Hold on, I still want you_

Jace was barely conscious and tied up to a dinning chair while Sebastian played with a knife in his hands. "Ah, so glad you could join us, little sister." Sebastian greeted her, motioning to her mom. Jocelyn pushed Clary into her brother's arms, making Clary trip over her own feet. "Wha-?" She exclaimed as Sebastian caught her, moving the knife to her throat.

 _Come back, I still need you_

Jocelyn lifted Jace's head up as he opened his eyes. He surveyed the situation, his confusion transforming to anger as he saw Clary. "Let her go." Jace growled as he struggled against his binds.

"Now, why would I do that?" Sebastian taunted, letting the knife slip and nick her neck. Clary gasped in pain.

"Don't hurt her, please," he begged. Tears began to slip from his eyes.

"I think you forgot our father's lesson." Sebastian replied, a smirk dancing across his features.

 _Let me take your hand, I'll make it right_

 _I swear to love you all my life_

"What lesson?" Jace grunted in pain, a striking headache hit him; the result of Jocelyn's attack.

"To love is to destroy." Sebastian started as Jocelyn cut the bonds loose, allowing Jace to move. Sebastian smiled as Jace snarled. He leapt to action and tried to tackle Sebastian away from Clary. But Jocelyn got in the way. Jace tackled her to the ground and she punched him in the face.

"Jocelyn, what are you doing?!" Jace demanded, wiping the blood from his nose.

"I'm sorry, Jace." She said before throwing him against the chair.

 _Hold on, I still need you_

Jace struggled back to his feet, but he wasn't quick enough. Jocelyn grabbed him by the neck. "Enough. Don't fight, Jace, all you're doing is hurting Clary. But it'll all be over now." Jocelyn spoke, her emotion had evaporated. Jace cast his eyes back at Sebastian and Clary. He didn't even notice Sebastian hurting her, but the blood stain down Clary's clothes was proof. "Please, please don't." Jace pleaded, knowing what Sebastian's next move was and knowing he couldn't stop it.

 _A long endless highway, you're silent beside me_

 _Drivin' a nightmare I can't escape from_

"To be loved is to be destroyed." Sebastian finished as he withdrew his knife from his sister's neck. The knife re-entered her body from a different angle and another angle and another, until Sebastian's hands were drenched in blood. Until you couldn't tell how long Clary's red hair was because you didn't know where her hair stopped and the blood began. An inhuman cry resounded throughout the street.

 _Helplessly praying, the light isn't fadin'_

 _Hiding in the shock and the chill in my bones_

* * *

Simon had decided to treat Isabelle to dinner. The restaurant was nice and it seemed very private, and empty. The food was amazing and the company couldn't have been better. Simon told many mundane jokes, mixing in a vampire or daylighter one here and there. Isabelle found them all hilarious and Simon couldn't help but smile at her laugh. It had been such a long time since either of them had laughed. They had chosen to go out tonight because they were in need of at least one happy night after everything that had happened. And Isabelle couldn't find the words or the time to tell Simon about the cure to Lilith's spell.

 _They took you away on a table_

Sebastian and Jocelyn had vanished. Or at least they no longer existed in this moment. Jace couldn't take his eyes off the girl in front of him. The world seemed to move in slow motion as she fell to the ground, her hand limply landing on her chest. It seemed impossible and like a nightmare. His heart once again raced silencing all other sound. His breathing quickened as he scrambled across the floor. Jace didn't care that he was developing another panic attack, nor did he care about where Sebastian and Jocelyn had went. The girl in front of him was all that mattered.

 _I pace back and forth as you lay still_

"Isabelle?" Simon asked, suddenly serious.

"Yes, Simon? What's up?"

"Listen, you are literally my life and I can't imagine one without you. I don't believe in the eternity that I have on earth, that I will ever find anyone else." Simon got up from the table and knelt down next to it. He fished a small, black box out of his pocket, causing a gasp to leave Isabelle's lips. "Will you marry me, Isabelle lightwood?"

 _I pull you in to feel your heartbeat_

The ring was absolutely beautiful. It was a gold band that had a three diamonds on top. Isabelle raised her eyes to meet her lover's. She voiced the only word that seemed to make any sense.

"Yes."

He slipped the ring on her finger and pulled her into a bear hug. "I love you, Iz." He whispered as she pulled away and bent down to meet his lips. There was so much love and passion in their kiss that neither of them wanted to stop. So when Isabelle's phone began to ring, she tossed the screen away, not bothering with who was calling.

The phone landed on the floor, her brother's picture flashing on the screen.

 _Can you hear me screaming, "please don't leave me"_

* * *

Magnus hung up the phone again, frustratedly. "Why isn't she answering her phone?" His tone softened as he glanced back at Alec. "Have you gotten Jace yet?" He asked, sitting beside Alec and slipping his hand on Alec's shoulder.

"No, he won't pick up." Alec cried in pain. His parabatai rune had started stinging a few minutes ago and they had both leapt into action trying to get a hold of Jace and Isabelle.

"Can you track him, Alec?" Magnus asked, his cat eyes sparkled with concern.

"Yeah, yeah I think so. But I'll need your help." Magnus nodded.

 _Hold on, I still want you_

 _Come back, I still need you_

* * *

They arrived at Luke's house in two seconds, thanks to Magnus' portal. The door was open and they could hear someone's voice, muttering something. It sounded like Jace. They ran in and Magnus put his arm out to stop Alec from seeing. Alec pushed passed desperate to help ease his parabatai's pain.

 _Let me take your hand, I'll make it right_

 _I swear to love you all my life_

* * *

Isabelle glided into the institute, giggling. She threw open the doors and skipped into the kitchen where Alec and Magnus sat. They both had their hands on the table, with Alec's wrapped around Magnus'. They had commandeered a corner of the dinning table.

"Guess what?" Isabelle squealed excitedly, completely oblivious to the sadness that hung in the room. "Simon proposed to me!" She repeated it when her brother and his boyfriend didn't move or respond. She repeated it again before Alec yelled at her.

 _Hold on, I still need you_

 _I don't wanna let go_

"We heard you Isabelle! We fucking heard you!" He stormed out of the room, leaving Magnus sitting there with a shocked Isabelle. Magnus lifted his head as if he didn't hear Alec leave. He stood up and moved to follow him, like a lost puppy. "Talk to Jace. He'll explain." Magnus whispered before he stumbled off to find his lifeline.

 _I know I'm not that strong_

 _I just wanna hear you_

"Jace?" Isabelle asked as she pushed the doors to the infirmary open. She trembled not knowing why he was in here. "Jace? Alec yelled at me and Magnus was acting weird and they said-" she trailed off when she saw his face. She ran to her adopted brother and wrapped her arms around him. He cried into her shoulder. "-to ask you." She finished as she saw the body on the bed.

"Ave atque vale."

 _Saying baby, let's go home_

 _Let's go home_

 _Yeah, I just wanna take you home_

 _Hold on, I still want you_

 _Come back, I still need you_

 **(Hold on, Chord Overstreet)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi again,**

 **Just letting you know, this is cross-uploaded to Wattpad, under Kittytwisaga, so you can read on the website that you prefer :)**

 **And once again, thanks to everyone who reads this and thanks to everyone who has been supporting me throughout this story (that includes you my readers), and a special thanks to those who take the time to review, whether you're on Fanfiction or a guest, thank you!**

* * *

 _Quick Disclaimer: I do not own mortal instruments or anything else you recognise, as well as the poems in between sections._

 **Third Person POV**

 _When you were standing in the wake of devastation_

'White silhouettes stand amongst the ghosts of the past. Leaning on shoulders, slowly breaking down. Tears cascading down cheeks, while their heads held high. The sky overhead begins to weep, as if something truly special is missing, as if the sun itself was gone. The faint colour of rose petals dotting the sky, as the breeze carried them and the soul upwards. This was the time to say goodbye.'

 _When you were waiting on the edge of the Unknown_

'The girl lay on top of a pile of wood, arranged as nice as it could possibly be. Everything was grey scaled, even her usual bright red hair, had lost most of its colour and her skin was pale, as white as snow. The white figures began to murmur in unison, three words. 'Ave Atquev vale.' Those three words were said again and again. Becoming the soundtrack for the world.'

'The soundtrack continued as one of the silhouettes Brough a torch down to her body, 'Ave Atque Vale, Clarissa Morgenstern'.'

 _With the cataclysm raining down, insides crying save me now_

"-ace? Jace!" A shout brought his mind back to the present.

"Sorry, what?" Alec's expression softened.

"I was just saying that mom decided her funeral will be on her birthday. But she wanted to make sure that was okay, Jace?" Jace's eyes had glazed over as Alec spoke. Alec's heart broke, knowing he couldn't take this pain away from his brother, his parabatai. "Jace?" Alec prodded gently. Her birthday was next week and they needed to begin preparations.

"Oh, yeah that's fine." His eyes were downcast, his mouth speaking on autopilot. He didn't want to continue without her, but she would want him to be strong.

"Okay, I'll let mom know." Alec began walking away, before he turned and wrapped his arms around his brother. "I'm here, for you, for everything." Jace nodded half heartedly.

 _You were there impossibly alone_

* * *

Once Alec had left, Jace turned on his heel and headed to the infirmary. His hand lingered on the door, wanting to go in, but not knowing if he could walk back out. Jace spun so his back lent against the infirmary's doors and let himself slide to the floor. He brought his knees against his chest, allowing tears to flow from his eyes. He couldn't recall a time that he had felt so weak, so vulnerable, but he couldn't find any strength. It was like, when she breathed her last breath, she took everything from him.

 _Do you feel cold and lost in desperation_

"I'm so sorry. It should have been me." Jace whispered, banging his head against the door. "I guess I never realised that us not being together forever was a possibility. That I would lose you. They say the pain stops, but I don't want it to. I deserve this pain for not protecting you, for not saving you after everything you've been through. I half wish that I never met you that night at Pandemonium, because at least you'd be alive. I don't want to move on, Clary," his voice shook as his body was racked with violent sobs. "I took you for granted, because I never thought that there would be a day after you. I will never be able to hear your voice that I looked forward to hearing every day. I won't ever see those beautiful emerald green eyes that I couldn't help myself but to get lost in them every time. But most of all I will miss holding you, kissing you, even talking to you. Saying 'I love you' and hearing you say it back. I will miss all of you so much."

 _You build up hope but failure's all you've known_

His hands were shaking as he tried to stop the water flow. But it couldn't be patched, not until the tank was empty. "So much for the boy that never cried again. I'm not sure which is worse, missing you or the fact that I can't change it. Clary, the world has changed. I no longer see the light or hope, I see darkness and emptiness. I guess you'd say that the world hasn't changed, but I have. I want to be lost and never found. I want to be swallowed by a giant hole, never to be seen again. It's not the pain that I can't live with, it's the fact that I now have to live without you. it's like I stepped into a nightmare. I love you and I never want to move on from you." Jace's head slipped down against his knees and allowed himself to shatter.

 _Remember all the sadness and frustration and let it go, let it go_

* * *

Isabelle was fidgeting with the new ring on her finger. She fought the urge to throw it on the street as it felt like a five kilo rock sitting on her hand. She should have told him about the plan, because then at least it wouldn't be such a shock. She should have told him that it was serious and he needed to come to the institute instead of asking to meet him at Taki's. But, in truth, she couldn't be there, she had to get away from death. Even if for the few minutes it took to walk down the streets.

 _And in the burst of light that blinded every Angel,_

She caught sight of his messy hair from outside the shop. Isabelle swallowed, letting it burn her throat. She was going to break his heart, and there was nothing she could do to prevent that. The bell rang as she stepped inside, never really noticing it before. His head turned to catch her and his eyes looked so happy, she felt something inside her snap. "So, future Mrs Lewis, what did you want to tell me?" She was going to lose him no matter what.

"Simon, this is serious and important and I'm sorry I didn't tell you before because we got swept up and they asked me not to and I was just so happy that I could get away from it all and I'm so happy with you and now I'm going to have to hurt you and break your heart and I don't want to do that-"

"Izzy," Simon interrupted, placing his hands on hers, eyes dancing with concern. "What's going on?" She took a deep breath and spat the words out. "Clary's dead."

 _As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars_

* * *

Alec was concerned. Concerned about his parabatai, concerned about Isabelle and worried about Magnus. All of them were feeling weighed down by this loss, but none more so than Jace. Physically, he looked awful. His eyes were dragged down by huge, heavy bags and his skin became very pale. It was clear he wasn't eating or moving, not as much as he had been. He had locked himself away in his room and couldn't budge.

 _You felt the gravity of tempered grace, falling into empty space_

Magnus had taken to silence and dark rooms. Anything to not look at himself. Alec could tell Magnus was blaming himself, even though Magnus had nothing to do with it. Isabelle was broken. She lost her girl best friend and her fiancé. She had gone to meet with him and tell him but she didn't come back that night. Alec had gone and found her drinking and dancing with Maia Roberts. It was weird but he could tell that she was hurting. He managed to carry her back to the institute where she had passed out and he hasn't seen her since.

 _No one there to catch you in their arms_

Simon, was practically a dead weight. He came to the institute and was yelling at Alec for not protecting her. He waved his arms around before punching Alec in the jaw. It was better him than his parabatai. But Alec took everything without complaint. When Simon had fallen to the floor, in a fit of sobs, Alec was there rubbing his back. He and Simon had never been close, but death was said to bring people closer.

 _Do you feel cold and lost in desperation_

Alec, himself, was finding it hard. His heart hurt without Clary. They were becoming friends and his head was weighed down with regret and guilt. If only he had been there, even though, logically, he couldn't have changed what happened. He felt frustrated when he was alone, he had to be strong for everyone else. But it was hard when Jace's depression was leaking down their bond, bleeding into Alec's own sadness.

 _You build up hope, but failure's all you've known_

* * *

Sebastian rubbed his fingers together. Everything was going according to plan. Lilith had been able to get a preview about what was happening upstairs and it delighted him that he was right. Everything was good and perfectly planned. He had been watching over the gang and relishing in their pain. Soon, he would rule the world, with her as his queen and Jace as their perfect solider. Everything was at his fingertips.

 _Remember all the sadness and frustration and let it go, let it go_

 **(Linkin Park, Iridescent)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey!**

 **I hope I'm forgiven, at least just a tiny bit after this chapter. Thanks for reading and supporting me!**

* * *

 _Quick Disclaimer: I do not own mortal instruments or anything you may recognise and I do not own the following poem._

 **Part III - Come Back**

 **Every single breath that I took,  
**

 **every single day that I lived,**

 **I did, coz' I had you,**

 **Since you left me,**

 **My Soul lost without a trace,**

 **Every single night, I dreamed of your face,**

 **No one can replace your place in my heart,**

 **I feel so cold and still looking your embrace,**

 **Oh...Girl, can't you see, you belong to me,**

 **Please come back for me.**

(I cannot find the website where I originally found this poem, if you find it please let me know!)

* * *

 **Third Person POV**

 _There's so much that I would say, if I could see you one last time_

A single white rose was the target of Jace's attention. The green of the stem and the gold of his eyes and hair were the only colours, the rest of Jace was white. He wanted to snap the rose in half and throw it away, but he couldn't, shouldn't. She deserved peace, deserved to rest. She deserved this white rose, considering this was the first time he bought a flower for her. He ran his fingers along the stem, twirling it around, as if he had never seen anything like it. He cursed as his finger nicked one of the thorns.

 _But now I can't 'cause you're not here but you're always on my mind_

He watched with sickening curiosity as a drop of blood swelled on his finger before running down his hand.

* * *

'Sebastian taunted, letting the knife slip and nick her neck. Clary gasped in pain...he didn't even notice Sebastian hurting her, but the blood stain down Clary's clothes was proof...as he withdrew his knife from his sister's neck. The knife re-entered her body from a different angle and another angle and another, until Sebastian's hands were drenched in blood. Until you couldn't tell her long her hair was because you didn't know where the hair stopped and the blood began'

 _I look up when you're not there, when I lie awake at night_

* * *

He blinked back the memories and a sound of terror escaped him. His hands were stained in red. Stained with blood. They shook with terror, as his eyes travelled up his arm and finally landing on the mirror in front of him. His previously white suit was red, dark red. There were patterns in the blood that were unnatural. His gaze wandered back to his room and adjusted to the sight. There were blood splatters all over the room. Leading back to his bed. He clenched his eyes shut, he didn't want to see the bed, didn't want to see who lay in the bed. But he knew. He knew when he opened his eyes, he'd see his love dead. His knees gave out and he helped in pain as the floor came rushing up to meet him. It was his fault she was dead.

 _All these things I ask myself, I don't why_

* * *

Alec and Isabelle heard a crash come from Jace's room. As they opened the door, tears pricked their eyes. Their brother was curled up on the floor, shaking his crying head, whispering 'mea culpa, my fault.' Isabelle ran to his side, rubbing his shoulder and arm, murmuring comforting words. Alec was stunned in the doorway. He had never seen someone so broken, like Jace was now. It was at this moment, that Alec knew Jace would never recover from this. Not completely.

 _When it's the first time that you'll never see someone again_

* * *

That was how Maryse found her children, huddled together on the floor of Jace's room. His white rose was discarded underneath his mirror, with a single drop of blood staining the petals. She smiled sadly, she was glad that they found comfort in each other, but Clary should've have had to die for this to happen. It would take a lot of recovery for these kids to get over this. It wasn't fair. Yes they were raised as shadowhunters, learning how to kill demons from a young age, but they shouldn't have to lose a friend so young. She could only imagine how Jocelyn and Luke were dealing.

 _When it's the last time you weren't ready for it end_

* * *

Eventually Isabelle and Alec untangled themselves from Jace and retreated. Their brother had fallen asleep with tears drying his cheeks. Alec wrapped his arms around his sister as they left his room. The next few days, weeks, maybe even months would be increasingly hard. For everyone. Clary had been such a huge part of their lives, for such a short while. Nothing would ever be the same again.

 _Whenever I leave you standing alone there in the dark_

Several hours later, heartbreak woke Jace up. He longed to see her again, to feel her, to hear her voice. But he would never. He growled in anger and frustration. He heaved himself off of his floor and padded down the halls to find the training room. Sebastian took her away and he let him. Both were to blame. Both destroyed her and consequently everyone else's life as well.

 _They're never easy but sometimes, goodbyes are so hard_

Every slip of his hand, cut into his other arm. Jace smiled. Yes, this helped, he deserved this pain. He deserved to hurt after losing her, deserved it for not protecting her. He would destroy Sebastian like he destroyed Clary. Then, afterwards, he would destroy himself.

 _I look ahead, but can't move on, I look back but I can't stay_

 _I keep tryin' to be strong, but there's pain it won't go away_

* * *

The next morning, Alec found himself standing in front of the training room. The older boy wasn't completely sure why he was here as he didn't usually find training the way to ease his pain. But he could feel Jace's boiling blood and red vision. It wasn't fair, Clary couldn't be gone. She just couldn't be, it was physically impossible. Surely she was just missing or sleeping. She couldn't be gone.

 _I hope this will heal in time, 'cause I can't go on like this_

This was the way Jace was dealing, and as his parabatai, he would do whatever he could to help him. He had to, he and to be strong for Jace. He had to be strong for everyone. He had to get them all through this pain. Even if that meant bottling his own and hiding it away.

 _And right now I would give my life for one last kiss_

Slicing, slashing, cutting, hacking, killing killing killing. Pain. Jace had joined Alec and neither seemed to hold anything back. Together they danced a murderous duet. Blood welled as the other's knife nicked their arms. Alec had never seen Jace this angry, but he understood. He could feel through their bond the anger in Jace's veins. The anger at Sebastian. "It's not fair!" Jace yelled as he knocked Alec's sword away. Jace advanced, pushing Alec against the wall. "It's not fair! It's not really, it can't be! Bring her back!" Jace stumbled away from Alec as tears streamlined his face. He fell to the ground, as Alec approached a wild animal. "To me. Bring her back to me, please?" Jace pleaded and Alec wrapped his arms around his parabatai.

 _When it's the first time that you'll never see someone again_

They stayed like that for hours. Both sharing the emotion, both mourning and grieving. This afternoon was Clary's funeral and it was going to strike them all hard. Jace could barely keep it together when he tried on his suit yesterday. Neither had heard of Isabelle since last night, locking herself up in her room once again. The grief was wearing them down and slowly breaking their bond. Who would have thought that the three siblings who had been together before Clary, would be struggling to hold onto their bond after Clary. Who would have thought that one person's death could upset the entire balance. Nothing in life was fair. Nothing lasted long enough.

 _When it's the last time and you weren't ready for it end_

 _Whenever I leave you standing alone there in the dark_

* * *

It was, unusual to say the least. This kind of thing doesn't happen, ever. But supposedly some souls are different, some already have their death date marked on their calendars and wish to stick to that date. Not after and definitely not before. Guess this was one of those cases. This soul, in particular, was not meant to die yet, and thus fate compelled him to throw the soul back. But it couldn't be returned in the same state as before, the soul had become an angel, meaning it would return with, shall we see, angelic benefits. "Good luck." He nodded to the soul, before it vanished and returned to earth.

 _They're never easy but sometimes, goodbyes are so hard_

 _You'll be there on my mind, standing in the sunshine_

 _When it's the first time that you'll never see someone again_

 _When it's the last time and you weren't ready for it end_

 _Whenever I leave you standing alone there in the dark_

 _They're never easy but sometimes, goodbyes are so hard_

 **(Goodbyes - 3 Doors Down)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey again!**

 **So there may be a delay before the next chapter. Hopefully it'll come out this month but, with me, who knows.**

 **If you want a more accurate date, check out my profile. I have a section dedicated to my stories which I update regularly about when each chapter should be coming out.**

 **And, unrelated, head over to my profile to vote in a poll that'll help me write a new story!**

 **Enjoy this chapter and I'll see you guys next time. Thanks for reading!**

* * *

 _Quick Disclaimer: I do not own mortal instruments or anything else you may recognise._

 **Third Person POV**

 _Just say the word, we'll take on the world_

It was time. They had all dreaded this moment since it occurred. No one had seen or heard of Jocelyn and Luke, despite Maryse's extensive efforts to get in contact with them. No one knew if they knew what had happened, and Jace hadn't told anyone that Jocelyn was there that day. He was...caught up with other things. Jace stood in Clary's room at the institute, one that hadn't been touched since she was last in there. The bed still looked messy and her drawings were scattered over the desk. His hand, unconsciously, dragged through his hair as he thought about the last time she was in here. Jocelyn and Luke preferred her to stay at Luke's house and when she wasn't there, she was in his room. ' _Was. That's gotta be the goddamn saddest word_.' The thought appeared out of nowhere but he couldn't deny its honesty.

 _Just say you're hurt, we'll face the worst_

It must've have been before Lilith that she was in here last. Back when...when things were good. He had just come back from the dead and they were struggling with that secret. It's strange how no one has ever questioned them about it, more important matters clearly. _'I guess we were lucky no one tried to take advantage of my newly resurrected status_.' That hit hard. She brought him back and he failed her. He couldn't protect her from a demon, like he was supposed to. He couldn't save her life when it came down to it. He couldn't save her.

 _I can see, see the pain in your eyes_

 _Oh, believe, believe me and I have tried_

* * *

Everything was blindingly white. The person blinked several times before their eyes began to adjust to the light. They gasped as they realised how sore their muscles were, as they tried to sit up. They noticed how thin their wrists were as their hands tried to support their body weight. They felt like their wrists would snap if they allowed them to carry all of their own body weight. Although, they didn't weigh much anyway. As their hair fell in their face, reality struck them down. Their usual vibrant coloured hair was dull and lifeless, just as they themselves had been minutes before.

 _No I won't, I won't pretend to know what you've been through_

Their eyes marvelled at how pale their skin was and how faded all of their scars were, the white lines blending into the colour of the skin. They had died. With a start, they scrambled to their feet and over to a mirror as their hands feverishly grabbed at their chest. There was nothing there. Not even any blood, for someone had changed their clothes. But there was no wound, not even a scar. One thought danced across their mind, 'if I died, how am I alive?'

 _You should've known, I wish it was me, not you_

The infirmary doors were tentatively cracked open, little, pale white fingers could be seen around the edge of the doors. A head poked out as they surveyed their surroundings. There was only one thing they wanted to do. Only one person they had to see. They hadn't quite worked out how they were alive, if it was temporary or not, but that didn't matter. They had to see him. Satisfied that no one was around, they dashed across the hallways. They paused at each and every corner, they wanted him to be the first person they saw. Eventually they reached his room and their arm floated towards the door. Instead of knocking, like they should have done, they turned the handle.

 _And it's the fight, and the fight of our lives_

 _You and I, we were made to thrive_

* * *

Sitting on his sister's bed, Alec held Izzy as she cried for the fourth time that day. She seemed inconsolable and he didn't need three guesses as to why. It was hard, for everyone. But especially the three Lightwood siblings, with Jace being hit the hardest. It was the three of them that saw Clary that night at Pandemonium. It was the three of them that had introduced Clary to the world of angels and demons. It was the three of them that had brought her into their world. It was the three of them that had seen Clary as part of their family, it was the three of them she had gotten close to.

 _And I am your future, I am your past_

Simon would be feeling the pain as well, but a selfish thought stopped Alec from feeling bad. ' _He had his whole life with her. You never even got to know what her favourite food was._ ' Alec cursed himself for all the time that he spent hating her, because she caught Jace's attention. He rued the days he treated her like crap. In all honesty, he hated himself. But he couldn't mope about that. He sister and parabatai needed him. His boyfriend needed him. So did his mother and Clary's best friend. They all turned to him to help them grieve. He needed to be strong for them. He needed to be there for them.

 _Never forget that we were built to last_

 _Step out of the shadows and into my life_

* * *

Standing by the window, Jace was bathed in light. It was too bright. He hated the sun for still shinning as bright as ever. He wanted the world to feel the pain of her loss. He wanted to see a change because she had made the world a better place. Without her, the world was supposed to be falling apart. But he was alone in that fate. He subconsciously heard the door to his room open, but he couldn't be bothered with whoever it was. No one mattered anymore.

 _Silence the voices that haunt you inside_

He felt a delicate hand brush his shoulder and he tensed. His eyes slammed shut and his breathing hitched. The touch was so intimate, so unlike the comforting pats and hugs he's been receiving. He thought he might have a panic attack as this delusion brought him to his knees, but instead his heart stopped. "Jace?" An angel breathed. He felt her breath tickle the back of his neck. He didn't want to open his eyes and obliterate this illusion. She was here and he would take whatever insanity brought him. He sighed as her hand returned to his shoulder, clasping it softly.

 _And just say the word, we'll take on the world_

"Jace, I've missed you." Without opening his eyes, his fingers wrapped around him, desperate to reach hers. But everything changed when they did. Because he felt her hand. He was able to hold her hand in his his, entwining their fingers. He spun around, eyes flying open as his mind tried to process what was standing in his room. Illusion or reality?

 _And just say you're hurt, we'll face the worst_

He expected her to have disappeared before he could lay eyes on her, but she was still there. Smiling as if she hadn't suffered. Her hair subtly gaining colour and sparkling in the sunlight. Her skin pale, but flushed as they now stood with their faces inches apart. Her fingers felt so thin within his hand that he thought she might break. Water dripped onto his suit, staining his cheeks. She was here. She was alive. She had come back.

 _Nobody knows you, the way that I know you_

He fell to his knees, not registering the scream of his legs as he did so. Tears flooded his room, ugly sobs becoming the only thing anyone could hear. But there was a ghost of a smile dancing across his lips. He wasn't upset, he was unbelievably happy. She fell next to him and wrapped her arms around his frame, nestling her head on top of his own. "It's over. I'm here." He cried harder as he moved to hold her tiny frame. She leaned in, kissing his tears away. His mind didn't work, his heart jumping out of his chest. He had to stop his hands from tightening around her. She was too weak and he was afraid of hurting her. But she was here. She came back to him. The world, the Angels had brought her back to him. He had been given a second chance with her, and he was never going to waste it.

 _Look in my eyes, I will never desert you_

 _We'll fight, we'll crawl into the night_

 _Our world, we'll go, with you by my side_

 _The calm, the storm, we'll face it all_

 _And just say the word, we'll take on the world_

 **(Take on the world by You And Me At Six)**


End file.
